The Room Guide
Coming Soon: Quick Guide
THE ROOM GUIDE
For Newcomers, A By-No-Means-Complete Guide to Audience Participation during THE ROOM
THINGS TO YELL
• ”Spoon!” – Whenever a spoon picture appears, you yell “Spoon!” and hurl plastic picnic spoons up in the air.
(For no reason, there are framed pictures of spoons on the wall of Johnny and Lisa's apartment.)
• ”Hey Denny!” – When the tragic kidult Denny makes his pointless entrances. When he leaves, shout “Bye, Denny!”
• “FOCUS!” - When the film goes out of focus.
• “Oh God. UNFOCUS!” - When it does come back into focus during one of the horrific sex scenes.
(Also: “Damn you Todd Barron!” He’s the director of photography. Also when he comes up in the credits.)
• “One!” “Two!” – Every time Mark says he’s Johnny’s best friend, you count it. Loudly.
• “Because you’re a woman!” - After pretty much anything that regards a female character.
(Started out as a joke about how misogynistic the film is; Now it just kinda works everywhere.)
• “Cancer!” - Whenever Lisa’s mother touches Lisa’s nose (after announcing she has cancer and never mentioning it again).
• “Shoot her!” or “Augh!” or “What is that?”: - When that bone-like thing pops out of Lisa’s neck, any exclamation of horror is appropriate. ("Shoot her" is from the opening of Jurassic Park. “Quaid, get to the reactor!” also works.)
• “Sestosterone!” - Any time lost Brawny spokesman Greg Sestero (who plays Mark) does something manly.
• “Look at me!" – Just before Peter (the psychologist) looks directly into the camera. When he does look, cheer.
• “Who the fuck are you?” - When random people show up to fuck in Johnny and Lisa’s apartment.
(Also when Peter disappears and is replaced at the party by a new actor who looks nothing like him.)
Special: B-ROLL YELLS
A “b-roll” is when director (and writer, and star) Tommy Wiseau rolls one of his endless clips of San Francisco stock footage to make a transition. This happens unnecessarily, all the time, and always for far too long. We celebrate this by yelling out the following:
• “Go! Go! Go! Go!” – During the endless tracking shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. As the camera just keeps panning across the bay, cheer it on its way by shouting "Go! Go! Go! Go!"
(If it makes it all the way across the bridge, you celebrate. If it doesn’t, you express disappointment.)
• “Everywhere you look, everywhere you look!” – Full House theme song, for shots of Alamo Square.
• “Meanwhile, back in San Francisco!” – Any iconic shot used to verify for us that, yes, we have not left San Francisco.
• “Alcatraz!” - For Alcatraz, or anything framed with bars
• "Disney Store!" - For some reason, people shout when Tommy approaches the (now-closed) Union Square Disney Store.
THINGS TO DO
• When the characters throw the football back and forth - Toss a football around with your friends.
• When the characters have sex – Express revulsion. This won’t be difficult.
(Examples: Groaning, singing the song from Free Willy, shouting “You’re fucking her belly button!”, etc.)
• When Johnny hooks the tape deck up to the answering machine - Hum the Mission: Impossible theme.
• When Johnny laughs inappropriately – As Johnny’s deranged giggle erupts, giggle with him.
(Example: “He beat her up so bad, she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero St.” “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”)
• When “You Are My Rose” plays – Sing along. Maybe light up a lighter or phone and sway it gently above your head.
• After Johnny’s speech about how “If everybody loved each other, the world would be a better place.” - Applaud.
(Sometimes, breaking out into the “Yes We Can!” chant also works. I like to think that’s it one of those rare moments where irony and sincerity collide, neither quite dominating the other.)
• During the last (and longest) of the film’s gratuitous sex scenes – Leave the theatre. Seriously, go piss, smoke, whatever.
(Don’t worry, when you come back, it'll still be going.)
• When everyone yells “Surprise” at Johnny’s birthday party – Have a party! Throw confetti, blow your noisemakers, etc. (You brought party favors, right? Even if you didn’t, join along to yell “Surprise” and sing Happy Birthday.)
• When Johnny appears to look down at the corner of the screen during the party scene – Be there to say “Hi.”
(This entails running down to the screen and hanging out toward the bottom-right-hand corner and then shouting as his eyes acknowledge you. If someone is on top of things enough to catch Tommy's gleaming eye, they're a pro.)
For Newcomers, A By-No-Means-Complete Guide to Audience Participation during THE ROOM
THINGS TO YELL
• ”Spoon!” – Whenever a spoon picture appears, you yell “Spoon!” and hurl plastic picnic spoons up in the air.
(For no reason, there are framed pictures of spoons on the wall of Johnny and Lisa's apartment.)
• ”Hey Denny!” – When the tragic kidult Denny makes his pointless entrances. When he leaves, shout “Bye, Denny!”
• “FOCUS!” - When the film goes out of focus.
• “Oh God. UNFOCUS!” - When it does come back into focus during one of the horrific sex scenes.
(Also: “Damn you Todd Barron!” He’s the director of photography. Also when he comes up in the credits.)
• “One!” “Two!” – Every time Mark says he’s Johnny’s best friend, you count it. Loudly.
• “Because you’re a woman!” - After pretty much anything that regards a female character.
(Started out as a joke about how misogynistic the film is; Now it just kinda works everywhere.)
• “Cancer!” - Whenever Lisa’s mother touches Lisa’s nose (after announcing she has cancer and never mentioning it again).
• “Shoot her!” or “Augh!” or “What is that?”: - When that bone-like thing pops out of Lisa’s neck, any exclamation of horror is appropriate. ("Shoot her" is from the opening of Jurassic Park. “Quaid, get to the reactor!” also works.)
• “Sestosterone!” - Any time lost Brawny spokesman Greg Sestero (who plays Mark) does something manly.
• “Look at me!" – Just before Peter (the psychologist) looks directly into the camera. When he does look, cheer.
• “Who the fuck are you?” - When random people show up to fuck in Johnny and Lisa’s apartment.
(Also when Peter disappears and is replaced at the party by a new actor who looks nothing like him.)
Special: B-ROLL YELLS
A “b-roll” is when director (and writer, and star) Tommy Wiseau rolls one of his endless clips of San Francisco stock footage to make a transition. This happens unnecessarily, all the time, and always for far too long. We celebrate this by yelling out the following:
• “Go! Go! Go! Go!” – During the endless tracking shots of the Golden Gate Bridge. As the camera just keeps panning across the bay, cheer it on its way by shouting "Go! Go! Go! Go!"
(If it makes it all the way across the bridge, you celebrate. If it doesn’t, you express disappointment.)
• “Everywhere you look, everywhere you look!” – Full House theme song, for shots of Alamo Square.
• “Meanwhile, back in San Francisco!” – Any iconic shot used to verify for us that, yes, we have not left San Francisco.
• “Alcatraz!” - For Alcatraz, or anything framed with bars
• "Disney Store!" - For some reason, people shout when Tommy approaches the (now-closed) Union Square Disney Store.
THINGS TO DO
• When the characters throw the football back and forth - Toss a football around with your friends.
• When the characters have sex – Express revulsion. This won’t be difficult.
(Examples: Groaning, singing the song from Free Willy, shouting “You’re fucking her belly button!”, etc.)
• When Johnny hooks the tape deck up to the answering machine - Hum the Mission: Impossible theme.
• When Johnny laughs inappropriately – As Johnny’s deranged giggle erupts, giggle with him.
(Example: “He beat her up so bad, she wound up in a hospital on Guerrero St.” “HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”)
• When “You Are My Rose” plays – Sing along. Maybe light up a lighter or phone and sway it gently above your head.
• After Johnny’s speech about how “If everybody loved each other, the world would be a better place.” - Applaud.
(Sometimes, breaking out into the “Yes We Can!” chant also works. I like to think that’s it one of those rare moments where irony and sincerity collide, neither quite dominating the other.)
• During the last (and longest) of the film’s gratuitous sex scenes – Leave the theatre. Seriously, go piss, smoke, whatever.
(Don’t worry, when you come back, it'll still be going.)
• When everyone yells “Surprise” at Johnny’s birthday party – Have a party! Throw confetti, blow your noisemakers, etc. (You brought party favors, right? Even if you didn’t, join along to yell “Surprise” and sing Happy Birthday.)
• When Johnny appears to look down at the corner of the screen during the party scene – Be there to say “Hi.”
(This entails running down to the screen and hanging out toward the bottom-right-hand corner and then shouting as his eyes acknowledge you. If someone is on top of things enough to catch Tommy's gleaming eye, they're a pro.)
